Exploring Our Financial Countertransference

One of my business practices is to examine my finances practically and psychologically. This consists of reviewing my financial progress on a weekly basis and exploring my countertransference in my own individual therapy. My early experiences with money shape the way I react in the present and examining those responses informs my clinical work. As therapists we are faced with the task of collecting our fees while simultaneously helping our clients explore their feelings and processing our own financial countertransference. This is not easy!

When I started my practice, my desire to help a potential client sometimes superseded my own monetary needs. I hadn’t yet learned how to tolerate my empathic responses during business transactions and sometimes the fees I set were too low; fortunately, my private practice supervisor helped me deepen my awareness of what was happening for me during these calls.

The choice to offer a reduced fee or lower a client’s existing fee can impact our clinical work. A therapist may feel resentful when their fee is too low and the client reports that they just returned from a two-week trip to the Bahamas. Or the client may end up feeling infantilized or indebted to the therapist which could be a reenactment of their relationship with a parent. These are two extremes, and a wide range of possibilities exist in between.

Unexamined financial countertransference can impact a therapist’s economic wellbeing and deprive the client of the opportunity to explore their uncomfortable feelings about money and experience the increased self-esteem that is a byproduct of investing in one’s own mental health. There are countless opportunities to discuss money with our clients including: late cancellations, fee increases, declined credit cards, and missed payments.

In group therapy we discuss late or missed payments with the entire group. I’ll say something like “Is anyone aware of not having paid for group this month?” Members have a chance to explore their reactions in the moment and the process sometimes evokes historical feelings or anger toward me. Sometimes members’ late payments could be an indirect expression of their desire to leave the group.

The discussion of payment in group offers members an opportunity to talk about a subject that our culture tries to politely avoid. We take the time together to explore what the client may be communicating with their late payment. Often this leads to a highly fruitful group discussion. The last time I raised my group fees one of my clients reacted so strongly that she later realized she needed to ask her boss for a long overdue raise.

In his book Difficult Topics in Group Therapy: My Journey from Shame to Courage, Jerome Gans, MD, advises therapists to prioritize the exploration of clinical material over managing financial transactions. He explains that so much can be gained by discussing the client’s feelings about money, especially if it’s done in the moment. Gans writes that managing the transaction first can shut down clinical discussion, whereas waiting to process the charge creates space for the client to express their feelings about the possibility of being charged.

In the example of a late cancellation for an individual session, I don’t charge my clients until we see each other at our next appointment. I’ll mention that I noticed they did not send their payment for last week; Then I wait. Sometimes this leads to an expression of anger toward a partner who failed to come home on time and care for their child while the client was in session. Other times we end up talking about their credit card debt, or feelings of resentment toward me for charging them for the missed appointment. If it’s relevant, I’ll ask my client how they are feeling about our work and our progress toward meeting their goals. In some cases, they simply forgot to pay me and there is nothing to explore.

Talking with our clients about money should be just like talking about any other topic we discuss in therapy. We must be willing to do our own money work so we can feel comfortable exploring financial issues with our clients.

References
Jerome S. Gans (1992) Money and Psychodynamic Group Psychotherapy, International Journal of Group Psychotherapy, 42:1, 133-152, DOI: 10.1080/00207284.1992.1173258

 

How Much is Your Business Costing You?

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In her book entitled Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles, Barbara Stanny states “To think strategically, you must constantly link big picture to the costs of doing business, or to put it another way, connect your purpose statement to your profit/loss statement.”  I try to examine my overall business spending every month to make sure I am on the right track.

Business expenses can add up quickly and it’s important to review them regularly to avoid overspending. Early on I noticed I was buying too many psychology books on Amazon. Now I add books to my wish list before buying them and I ask myself if I really need to own this book and whether I have time to read it. I try to borrow books from the library whenever possible, the Los Angeles Public Library has a huge collection of psychology books.

When I started out, I struggled with the cost of investing in Brainspotting and EMDR training/certifications; my practice was still growing, and I was trying to keep my expenses low. I made the choice to invest in these trainings because they supported my specialization as a trauma therapist and over time this proved to be a wise choice.

I’m not recommending you restrict your spending, instead I am suggesting that you remain conscious and aware of what you spend. Be sure to leave room in your budget for consultation. I’m a member of a monthly peer consultation group and I’m in weekly individual consultation with a seasoned group therapist.

It’s just as important to be strategic with your time. For example-if you have a limited amount of time for administrative and marketing tasks, you might want to hire an assistant or a bookkeeper. That way you’ll have more time to attend networking events or develop promotional materials. This year I realized I was underspending on support for my business, and I decided to hire a bookkeeper.

This kind of strategic decision allows me to spend more time on business development and creative projects. If you are seeing clients five days a week that does not leave much time for developing your business. This year I invested in a meal service several nights a week so that I have more time to relax in the evenings. I also hired a dogwalker twice a week to make sure I have a long enough lunch break on my busiest days.

Some therapists gave up their office space during the pandemic, rent is a big expense, so you’ll want to weigh the pros and cons of subleasing vs. taking on a full-time office.

Now that we are approaching July and the halfway point of 2021, I like to review my income and expenses for the last six months (Profit and Loss report) and see where I might need to adjust. I met with my accountant to make sure I was on track for my quarterly tax payments. I will also examine the number of hours I have worked so far and make sure I am scheduling enough vacation time.

Sometimes solopreneurs like us can get lost in the “busyness” of our businesses and it’s important to regularly schedule time to take stock of how we are doing and what we want for ourselves in the future.

Buckets of Money

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Most people are uncomfortable talking about money and I’m committed to helping my clients understand the psychology of money and the impact it has on our lives. I’ve read many books about money and I’m fascinated by the way our attitudes about money and worth influence our countertransference and the fee setting process. One of my favorite money books is Bari Tessler’s- The Art of Money. Tessler is a somatically trained financial therapist who teaches a yearlong online money course which I took several years ago. One of the many valuable practices I learned was to divide my money into separate “buckets”. These buckets help me organized my finances and avoid “surprises” at tax time.

My first bucket is a business savings accounts labelled “quarterlies”, I transfer money to this account every week so that when the end of the quarter comes, I have enough money to pay my taxes. My second business savings account is labelled Gray’s Bank which I use for my rainy-day fund to cover me during slower times and to save money for training and other “big ticket” expenses.

I use the same system to manage my personal finances, and the structure is based on my personal values and interests. I value fitness and I invest in yoga and Pilates classes (currently online) which I purchase in packs of 20. I’ve created an account called “Pilates and Property Tax” for my property taxes, yoga and Pilates, and an “Adventures” account that I use to save for vacations. In the past I’d charge my vacations on a credit card which resulted in having to pay off a large debt when I returned home. Now I have the money ready and I can pay for my vacations immediately without any pressure.  I have a main savings account where I’ve saved six months of living expenses. Most financial professionals recommend saving at least a year of expenses, so I’m working on building up that account. 

Maybe this sounds like too many accounts to you, perhaps you’d prefer just one or two. I’ve found that paying myself first and planning for emergencies, vacations, fitness expenses and taxes has created more ease in my financial life. It helps me manage the ebbs and flows of income that come with being self-employed.  What buckets might you use if you were organizing your money this way?