Money

Exploring Our Financial Countertransference

One of my business practices is to examine my finances practically and psychologically. This consists of reviewing my financial progress on a weekly basis and exploring my countertransference in my own individual therapy. My early experiences with money shape the way I react in the present and examining those responses informs my clinical work. As therapists we are faced with the task of collecting our fees while simultaneously helping our clients explore their feelings and processing our own financial countertransference. This is not easy!

When I started my practice, my desire to help a potential client sometimes superseded my own monetary needs. I hadn’t yet learned how to tolerate my empathic responses during business transactions and sometimes the fees I set were too low; fortunately, my private practice supervisor helped me deepen my awareness of what was happening for me during these calls.

The choice to offer a reduced fee or lower a client’s existing fee can impact our clinical work. A therapist may feel resentful when their fee is too low and the client reports that they just returned from a two-week trip to the Bahamas. Or the client may end up feeling infantilized or indebted to the therapist which could be a reenactment of their relationship with a parent. These are two extremes, and a wide range of possibilities exist in between.

Unexamined financial countertransference can impact a therapist’s economic wellbeing and deprive the client of the opportunity to explore their uncomfortable feelings about money and experience the increased self-esteem that is a byproduct of investing in one’s own mental health. There are countless opportunities to discuss money with our clients including: late cancellations, fee increases, declined credit cards, and missed payments.

In group therapy we discuss late or missed payments with the entire group. I’ll say something like “Is anyone aware of not having paid for group this month?” Members have a chance to explore their reactions in the moment and the process sometimes evokes historical feelings or anger toward me. Sometimes members’ late payments could be an indirect expression of their desire to leave the group.

The discussion of payment in group offers members an opportunity to talk about a subject that our culture tries to politely avoid. We take the time together to explore what the client may be communicating with their late payment. Often this leads to a highly fruitful group discussion. The last time I raised my group fees one of my clients reacted so strongly that she later realized she needed to ask her boss for a long overdue raise.

In his book Difficult Topics in Group Therapy: My Journey from Shame to Courage, Jerome Gans, MD, advises therapists to prioritize the exploration of clinical material over managing financial transactions. He explains that so much can be gained by discussing the client’s feelings about money, especially if it’s done in the moment. Gans writes that managing the transaction first can shut down clinical discussion, whereas waiting to process the charge creates space for the client to express their feelings about the possibility of being charged.

In the example of a late cancellation for an individual session, I don’t charge my clients until we see each other at our next appointment. I’ll mention that I noticed they did not send their payment for last week; Then I wait. Sometimes this leads to an expression of anger toward a partner who failed to come home on time and care for their child while the client was in session. Other times we end up talking about their credit card debt, or feelings of resentment toward me for charging them for the missed appointment. If it’s relevant, I’ll ask my client how they are feeling about our work and our progress toward meeting their goals. In some cases, they simply forgot to pay me and there is nothing to explore.

Talking with our clients about money should be just like talking about any other topic we discuss in therapy. We must be willing to do our own money work so we can feel comfortable exploring financial issues with our clients.

References
Jerome S. Gans (1992) Money and Psychodynamic Group Psychotherapy, International Journal of Group Psychotherapy, 42:1, 133-152, DOI: 10.1080/00207284.1992.1173258

 

Buckets of Money

phot by max williams unsplash

Most people are uncomfortable talking about money and I’m committed to helping my clients understand the psychology of money and the impact it has on our lives. I’ve read many books about money and I’m fascinated by the way our attitudes about money and worth influence our countertransference and the fee setting process. One of my favorite money books is Bari Tessler’s- The Art of Money. Tessler is a somatically trained financial therapist who teaches a yearlong online money course which I took several years ago. One of the many valuable practices I learned was to divide my money into separate “buckets”. These buckets help me organized my finances and avoid “surprises” at tax time.

My first bucket is a business savings accounts labelled “quarterlies”, I transfer money to this account every week so that when the end of the quarter comes, I have enough money to pay my taxes. My second business savings account is labelled Gray’s Bank which I use for my rainy-day fund to cover me during slower times and to save money for training and other “big ticket” expenses.

I use the same system to manage my personal finances, and the structure is based on my personal values and interests. I value fitness and I invest in yoga and Pilates classes (currently online) which I purchase in packs of 20. I’ve created an account called “Pilates and Property Tax” for my property taxes, yoga and Pilates, and an “Adventures” account that I use to save for vacations. In the past I’d charge my vacations on a credit card which resulted in having to pay off a large debt when I returned home. Now I have the money ready and I can pay for my vacations immediately without any pressure.  I have a main savings account where I’ve saved six months of living expenses. Most financial professionals recommend saving at least a year of expenses, so I’m working on building up that account. 

Maybe this sounds like too many accounts to you, perhaps you’d prefer just one or two. I’ve found that paying myself first and planning for emergencies, vacations, fitness expenses and taxes has created more ease in my financial life. It helps me manage the ebbs and flows of income that come with being self-employed.  What buckets might you use if you were organizing your money this way?

To Slide or Not to Slide

As mental health professionals, our business model is unique (code word for strange) because our clients know that some therapists are willing to offer a sliding scale. Most healthcare practitioners do not offer to adjust their rates, can you imagine asking your physician if she is willing to slide?

When I started my private practice as an intern, I offered my perspective clients a lower rate while I was building my practice. Now that I’m licensed, I prefer to offer reduced rates to my existing clients. If an existing client is experiencing a financial crisis like unemployment or a medical issue, we discuss it and come up with a lower fee. We explore their feelings about the fee adjustment, and we agree on a future time to revisit the rate; this discussion often reveals valuable clinical material. Several of my clients are freelancers who go through long periods of time between jobs, and they appreciate my willingness to reduce their fees during those times.

If a prospective client calls me requesting a low fee, I refer them to my associate or to a training site. I prefer not to “slide” for new clients with the exception of a referral from a friend or someone who is interested in both individual and group therapy. I choose to volunteer in other ways like offering pro bono Brainspotting sessions to people in my community who have experienced trauma and cannot afford therapy.

Here are some of the questions you might ask yourself prior to deciding whether to adjust your fee:

What are your financial goals for this year? How much do you want to earn? Do you have any student loan or other debt to pay off?

Is this client presenting with symptoms you are comfortable working with, or will this client require extra attention between sessions?

How many low fee clients do you have in your practice?

Do you feel worthy of asking for your full fee?

When was the last time you raised your fees?

If you are interested in learning how to make better financial decisions for your business, join me in June for my 10-week live online class- “The Prosperous Professional.”  This class is appropriate for pre-licensed and licensed therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, clinical dietitians, and other healing professionals. To learn more, go to https://mariagray.net/prosperous-professional